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January 2024 In about 2 hours’ time, it will be exactly 2 years since my mom died in my arms. As I sit here I am ruminating on why it is that my grief seems to have taken a 2-year sabbatical to return uninvited for what only can be described an opportunity to experience the last 11 days I spent with my mom, again, only this time, in an intensely raw, lack of distraction kind of way. Let me be clear here, I mean that in the most literal sense. Starting January 1 st, I awoke

my muse What would you do if you found out that nothing is as it appears That none of the people around you are real, or rather what you thought them to be The angry man or woman sitting across from you simply a portal for your own rage to find escape The crying, inner child, permission to release your pain or disappointment at what you hoped life would be The funny person in the room expressing the hilarity of the moment encouraging you to let go and surrender to the joy an

Delilah Canadian Space Gal in search of shenanigan's... For the past 5 years I have been writing a little addition to our local newspaper Cloverdale Connect every month in the hopes of inspiring others, which has been a joy on two fronts. First it forced me to create something every month. Now sure, if you know me, that's like saying "hey, want some nachos?" Ya, always. 24/7. But we all know even when there is something we enjoy, real life often gets in the way and you can ge

Like a moth to the flame... 4:27 fucking a.m. I was laying in bed staring blurry eyed at my rainbow digital clock as it stared unblinking back at me, mocking me. “Ya, I know you got into bed past midnight, but hey! I was thinking NOW would be a good time for you to wake up.” I rolled back over onto my other side, woefully sliding my pale pink sleep mask back into place trying to convince myself I could in fact fall back asleep. Then that all too familiar tingle hit. No, not

the In Between I’m waiting for my mother-in-law to die. Spoiler alert – try not to allow your brain to go to the socially joked about cliché. My mother-in-law Alice is one of my dearest friends and I am by no means looking forward to a world without her in it. That being stated, I am an autistic woman who was her own mothers care giver for the last years of her life and held her in her arms whilst she passed. I was on the phone with my aunt who lived in Victoria B.C. when sh

The freefall of an autistic meltdown... Yesterday after the usual morning of waking  and giving my body the opportunity to wake up and...

LAX I wish I could remember the exact verbiage my dear friend Karen used when she made a comment about “it being an autistic event” and...

Safety behind the plant. Whether it is my natural whimsical nature or the operating system of my autistic brain that finds comfort in...

It’s fun while you’re doing it. But, in the end you’re only fucking yourself (fave joke ever and so true). I wish sometimes I could blame...

My voodoo doll for banishing negativity... "Social Media is in fact the devil." I cannot count the times I have muttered this to myself...

In Awakenings by Mark Nepo this morning I read a couple of quotes that really tapped into the space I was in, and I giggled as I do so...

Sanctuary Whenever my husband tells me he and his kids are going on a trip my heart lights up for many reasons, but the main one is that...

I found myself lying on the floor last night whilst watching Evil on Prime (Instagram, I curse your algorithms for turning me onto such a...

Pants with potential... My father always wanted me to become an architect. I of course said hell no as although I am creative and can...

I am a work in progress dressed in the fabric of a world unfolding - Ani DiFranco I realized at about 6:08pm last night that the odds of...

Hallway mural to inspire cleaning...one of these days. I have long known myself to vacillate between two strong character traits:...

The funny thing about fear for me is there aren’t many things, I fear. Sure, I’m squeamish around lizards, frogs, babies or anything not...

I am cheating here on my 30-day challenge as it is the 4th of July and I think like many this year, well it just kinda blows. Now sure, I...

Although the actual date eludes me, I will never forget the night almost 2 years ago when my friend Desiree texted me one night. She was...

Wee devils... Those were the first words I spoke to my best & oldest friend Desiree. Little sister, sounding board, mentor and on...